Why the Best Leaders Listen First—and Speak Second

Have you ever felt outstanding leadership was all about having the right answers—but still wondered if that was enough?

Early in my career, I believed leading well meant speaking well and always having the answers. But over time, I discovered that true leadership isn’t about talking—it’s about serving. It’s about listening.

Here’s how I’ve shifted my approach to listening, transforming my relationships and leadership style along the way:

1. Active Listening: Staying Present

What I Do: I stay fully present in conversations—nodding, making eye contact, and avoiding interruptions.

Why It Matters: This helps others feel valued and truly heard, which is crucial for building trust.

2. Practicing Empathy: Seeing Their Perspective

What I Do: I challenge myself to see things from the speaker’s perspective, often asking, “How would I feel in their position?”

Why It Matters: This strengthens relationships and deepens understanding, helping me grasp what truly matters to others.

3. Observing Non-Verbal Cues: Listening Beyond Words

What I Do: I pay close attention to body language, tone, and expressions—often, these reveal more than words.

Why It Matters: Noticing these cues allows me to respond thoughtfully, creating genuine rapport and trust.

4. Giving Reflective Feedback: Clarifying Understanding

What I Do: I offer feedback that confirms my understanding, using phrases like, “So, you’re saying…” or “What I’m hearing is…”

Why It Matters: Reflective feedback builds clarity and shows I care about their perspective, leading to more meaningful conversations.

5. Reflecting and Improving: Learning From Every Conversation

What I Do: After each conversation, I ask myself what went well and where I could improve my listening.

Why It Matters: Committing to ongoing improvement keeps me aligned with the servant mindset that listening demands.

Test Your Listening Skills Today

Take five minutes during your next conversation to focus on:

1. Staying present (no multitasking or interrupting).

2. Observing body language and tone for unspoken messages.

3. Giving reflective feedback, like “What I hear you saying is…”

Rate yourself afterward: Did you build trust? Did they feel heard?

 Want to Learn More?

Dive deeper into listening with Stephen Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People or Celeste Headlee's TED Talk, “10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation.”

Great leadership isn’t about having the best answers—it’s about creating space for others to be their best selves.

What about you?

Reply with an example of how listening has helped you lead—or a challenge you’re facing. Let’s start a conversation!

Until next week,

Chris March.

P.S. If you’re new here, hi! A warm welcome to everyone who has joined The Leading Edge community since last week. Thank you for taking the time to be here. I appreciate your attention and time in your inbox.