Reactivity is a Reflex. Leadership is a Choice.

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If you’ve ever felt your emotions get in the way of your leadership, you’re not alone.

You’ve been told to “stay rational.”
To “keep your cool.”
To “lead with logic, not emotion.”

It sounds noble. But in high-stakes leadership? It’s fiction.

The Myth

This mindset teaches leaders to see emotion as weakness.
So when pressure builds: tight timelines, tough decisions, constant pivots - we suppress it.

And what happens when we suppress emotion?

It leaks.

→ In curt replies
→ In over-control
→ In team disconnection

The Real Skill

You don’t remove emotion from leadership.
You regulate it.

Emotional intelligence ≠ being “nice.”
It means leading with self-awareness, not self-denial.

Here’s what I coach leaders to practice:

 1. Name the emotion

Labelling reduces intensity.
“I’m overwhelmed” becomes:
“I feel unclear on priorities under pressure.”
That clarity alone can calm your system.

 2. Ground in values
Values are your compass when instincts spiral.
Ask: “What do I want to lead from - courage, curiosity, or control?”

3. Choose your response
Pause. Breathe. Break the loop.
Reactivity is a reflex.
Leadership is a choice.

The Truth

The best leaders don’t hide emotion.
They harness it.

They show up with presence, not performance.
They earn trust by being real, not robotic.

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One question to carry into your week:

→ Are you leading with awareness or autopilot?

If you’re feeling reactive or disconnected right now.

It’s not failure.
It’s feedback.

And it might be the exact signal you need
to unlock your next level.

Let it land.
Then lead from it.

Until next week - lead with clarity, not control.

—Chris

PS: If this resonated with you, hit reply and tell me what landed. Or forward it to a leader in your circle who needs to hear it.